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

Spiegelbeeld

30 April 2018

mijn spiegelbeeld toonde niet wie ik was
alsof ik het verhaal van iemand anders las

ik voelde een leegte diep binnenin
geen verbinding, geen einde of begin

ik ging op zoek naar mijn ziel
ik veranderde stapsgewijs heel subtiel

ik herken nu meer mijzelf in dat spiegelbeeld
toch voel ik mij vaak nog innerlijk verdeeld

ploeterend in een mistig moeras, tastend in het rond
zoek ik naar stapstenen, naar vaste grond

het masker is nog niet helemaal losgelaten
het verleden houdt mij nog steeds in de gaten

vaak verdwijn ik in mijn fantasie
droom ik het leven dat ik voor mij zie

geduldig wacht ik op mijn oase
in een woestijn als tijdelijke fase